For a lot of us, trust is a major issue. For some of us, we learned early that trusting someone only leads to disappointment and pain. Maybe it comes from childhood experiences. Maybe it stems from a relationship gone bad or trauma we endured as adults. Trust, a massive part of recovery, is also one of the hardest.
What is Trust and How Distrust Hurts Us
Trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. As we grow, we learn that somethings and some people cannot be trusted. These are important lessons. Sometimes, things and sometimes, people, become untrustworthy. It’s simply a fact. Trust is a gift and a basic need but it is fragile. It involves risk.
When distrust takes over our lives, though, we can find ourselves in a lonely and dark world. Instead of building relationships, we try to dictate people’s behavior; disappointed we retreat and isolate.
Distrust is fear-based. There is nothing wrong with fear, or even distrust. There are situations in which fear and distrust keep us safe. Living with addiction, it’s important to not put ourselves in situations that lend themselves to relapse. On the other hand, in recovery, we have to trust that we can be strong and that there are people who can and will support us in our recovery.
Like everything else, it’s behavior that matters. We build trust a bit at a time. We build trust through courage. First, we have to take a leap of faith. We have to assume that people are not out to hurt us but mistakes happen. Secondly, we have to forgive, which is difficult if we have lived through trauma but if we cannot forgive we cannot move forward in life. Forgiveness is refusing to carry the weight of resentment. Third, we have to acknowledge that we are deserving of love and health. Often distrust grows out of a sense that we are not worthy.
If we feel the fear and face it. If we accept it and move through it we might be pleasantly surprised. By pushing through dread into success, we learn that the world is not out to get us, that there are people to whom we can turn for help to build healthy and genuine lives which then creates strength and joy.
If you are using substances to deal with a sense that the world is dangerous, that people are inherently trustworthy, there are people who can help. Fort Worth Recovery uses an integrated model of treatment, including Cognitive and Dialectical Behavior Therapy to address the way you think about the world and the people in your life. They can help you see things in a different light. They can help you find the relief you need. Call today at 844.332.1807.