Resentment and Recovery
While in active addiction, resentment is a dangerous trap. Resentment is a failure to take responsibility for our part in a situation. As addicts, our lives are often filled with situations that can be difficult. Sometimes, it is easier to blame others for our own faults. Recovery requires humility tied to confidence. We build our sobriety on the equal belief that we have lost control of our lives and the assurance that we have the ability to regain it. When that assurance becomes arrogance, we risk relapse.
What is Resentment?
Resentment is closely tied to contempt and hatred and like these negative emotions, they can eat us alive. Unlike contempt and hatred, resentment is what we feel when we are powerless. We get a DUI and we blame the police for not going out and dealing with “real” criminals. We lose a job and we decide that the boss is an idiot. Resentment allows us to live in our addiction with what we believe is a little dignity.
When we cannot accept our part in a situation we cannot move forward. We stay stuck in our addiction and that only leads to death or we get bogged down in our recovery and that leads to relapse.
Like all emotions, resentment happens. We feel what we feel, but in active addiction, we absolutely need to take responsibility for our emotions and what we do with them. If we let them fester, they take control. In order to combat resentment, we have to look at our role in situations and then we have to ask ourselves what happens if we let it go. Honestly looking at the world gives us a clarity that only strengthens our recovery. If we can own our mistakes, then we can work at not repeating them. When we see people for what they are without judgment, it becomes easier to forgive transgressions, perceived or actual.
One effective way to fight resentment is to find a trusted confidant, be it family of origin or family of choice, a therapist or a sponsor in a 12-Step program who will be kindly honest with you. When we have a sounding board who will question our preconceptions, we are less like to sink into resentment and our recovery grows stronger.
Resentment in Recovery:
Resentment, as well as addiction, keeps us from seeing how beautiful life can be. If you are drinking because of your resentment or living in resentment because of your drinking, try taking a step back, try looking for someone whom you can trust and have them help you ask for help. At Fort Worth Recovery, we can use Cognitive Behavior Therapy to help people address how their thinking affects their lives and their behavior. Are you ready to give up resentment? Call today at 817 382 2894 or visit us online.